Fret Not

When worry becomes destructive

Are you a worrier? I remember thinking as a child that my mom did nothing but worry. Of course now, as a mother myself, I realize her worry was proportional to her love for me. It can be easy to dismiss some worry as just an expression of love. But Scripture uses another word for worry—fret—that deserves our attention.

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity…Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.—Psalm 37:1, 7 and 8

In Psalm 37 we read the phrase “fret not” three times. Have you ever stopped to define it? What comes to mind when you think of “fretting” over something? I imagine someone pacing, biting their nails, wringing their hands, really ‘tore out of the frame’. Fretting feels like worrying at full volume (or maybe after three cups of coffee). And if you’ve ever fretted, you know how it feels.

Interestingly, the first mention of ‘fretting’ in the King James Bible appears in Leviticus as it describes leprosy corroding a garment. I was surprised to learn the dictionary defines fretting as eating away, agitating, irritating. Fretting is not just the usual worry or passive concern. It is destructive.

Maybe you have experienced a worry that eats away at you. Something that you just can’t stop turning over in your mind. Sometimes we can live with what feels like “background static”—persistent worry that is ever present, humming beneath the surface.

We wait on things we have no control over: doctor’s appointments, test results, a returned phone call. We endure things we cannot fix: silence from a loved one who is prodigal, self-destructing, or without salvation. There are some burdens we have carried for so long that we just accept them as part of daily life.

Hannah is a woman in the Bible who was fretted.

And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb. — 1 Samuel 1:6

Hannah was childless, something entirely beyond her control. The Lord had withheld what she deeply desired, and Peninnah used that sorrow to provoke her.

What did Hannah’s fretting look like? Verses 7-15 tells us that she wept and did not eat. She was in bitterness of soul and of a sorrowful spirit. Her inner turmoil affected her outwardly.

That is often the case with us as well. The emotional strain of real worry and concern can affect our countenance. Our faces often reveal what our hearts are carrying, even if they betray what we would like the world to think of us. I once heard a preacher’s wife compare the face to a billboard, advertising what is within. Whether we intend it or not, our expressions display our discomfort, our irritation, or our peace. How often have I caught myself with a pained look on my face in what should have been a happy occasion—only to realize that my mind was far away, rehearsing worries and fears.

Worry can affect us in unseen ways, as well. Some experience headaches, ulcers or other physical complaints from prolonged stress.

Recently, the background static of worry broke me. Over the Christmas break I experienced an afternoon of dizziness because the overwhelm in my mind was so great. My body was rebelling against the pressure I was feeling. Because I could not look at a computer screen without my brain swimming, I had no choice but to rest. (And I’m glad to say after a good night’s rest I felt much better!)

Beyond physical consequences, the Psalms warns us that fretting can lead us to sin. “Fret not thyself in any wise to do evil,” Psalm 37:8 says. When we are agitated and overwhelmed, we become ‘touchy’ or ‘edgy’. I know when I am overwhelmed and distracted by worries, I’m more likely to have a short temper with my children and be less patient with others. It may not feel like “evil”...but impatience is still sin.

Likewise, when dealing with a problem I cannot control, my mind tries to fix things. I try to fill in the gaps, building up imaginations to explain the silence. But that too, is sin, isn’t it? We are instructed in 2 Corinthians to “Cast[] down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bring[] into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”

Fretting thrives in those unbridled imaginations.

When the Bible tells us to “fret not” it isn’t just a suggestion, but is a way of offering us protection. Fretting costs more than we realize. It wears on the body, drains the spirit, and pulls us away from rest. When we fret, we are literally eating away at ourselves, whether by tension or fatigue.

Psalm 37 tells us that in exchange for fretting, we should trust in the Lord...rest in the Lord...and wait patiently for Him.

Have you ever been in a room where the television or radio is constantly on? After awhile, you may ‘tune it out’ and not notice the noise at all. You learn to live with it. Yet when it is finally turned off, you realize how much that constant noise had been wearing on you. The sudden silence feels peaceful.

As we begin this new year, many will look for ways to reduce stress. Are your worries loud? Or have you grown accustomed to the noise of your own fretting?

This week, I invite you to ponder whether you are worried or fretting, and what that fretting does to you. Perhaps its effects are not as dramatic as stomach ulcers and dizzy spells. But no matter the burden you carry, the Lord invites us to cast it upon Him. He cares for you. And He offers rest and peace to those who will trust Him.